Peculiar Sensitivities
July 20, 2008 at 12:54 pm | In Gender Issues, Islam, Life, Muslims, Women | 16 Comments
Hands up who takes offence to being equated to sex toys and brainless bimbos’?
Hands up who finds it insulting to being called a blown up sex doll?
Hands up who takes being called a houri a complement?
Why is it deemed to be a complement? Why when someone comments on your skin colour, or eyes or other features they may refer to you as “Jannat ki hoor” (heavenly maiden) is this took to be a good thing? Something to feel flattered about? Why is there disgust with Bratz dolls, with people calling them slutty and sexualised – when they resemble the wide eyed houri’s profoundly?
And when taunted with “houri’s will curse you” at what can only be counted as mundane disagreement or falling out with your spouse -
Ibn Maja
Ibn Maja (824 – 887) was a medieval hadith collector, not all authentic. His collection is named the Sunan Ibn Maja.
“Houris do not want wives to annoy their husbands, since the houris will also be the wives of the husbands in the afterlife. “Mu’adh bin Jobal (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, ‘A woman does not annoy her husband but his spouse from amongst the maidens with wide eyes intensely white and deeply black will say: Do not annoy him, may Allah ruin you.” He is with you as a passing guest. Very soon, he will part with you and come to us.”[50][51]
how can one not find this to link into the concept of ideal and desirable woman being submissive, and robotic? That her duty is only to tend to her demi-God (husband)?
Are these my peculiar sensitivities or do others agree there is some ground to feeling insulted when likened to “heavenly sex toys”?
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I think it is insulting to houris to refer to them as “heavenly sex toys”… houris have feelings too! {smile}
I wouldn’t be insulted if someone referred to me as having some aspect of the companions of Paradise. Subhanallah, Paradise – the home of pure perfection! How can that not be a compliment, Sumi?
It’s true that their beauty is emphasised in the Qur’an and Sunnah; but from our own experience, companionship is much deeper than sexual relations. They are the perfect companions because of the peace and tranquillity they grant their heavenly spouses. Just as Hawah granted Adam, peace be upon them both.
And Allah knows best.
Comment by iMuslim — July 20, 2008 #
“He is with you as a passing guest. Very soon, he will part with you and come to us.”
Women are also with men as a passing guest. Nowadays i see that wives die sooner than husbands, that much husbands give them hard time in this world!!
Although, Place of believers who go to paradise, are higher that Hoor el Ein:
In so many verses (Safat:47, Ar-Rahman: 58, Insan: 19, Al- Toor : 24) God mentions the companions in paradise as heavenly women and men both.
The words of “Hoor” And “Ayn” are used for male and female both. So It can be heavenly spouses in a general content. Heavenly wife for Mu’min and heavenly husband for Mu’minah. Anyway again concept of marriage in paradise is different from this world.
And yes, the conception of Hour generally seems sexual. In fact, before Islam, Arab men had many women and mistresses. After Islam they could only have just 4 wives and some mut’a wives and mentioning Hour of Paradise was to make them avoided doing haram relationships.
Even nowadays, meaning of a “sweet” companion is meant in sexual term for many men!
Comment by Shahrzad — July 20, 2008 #
iMuslims: Paradise may be the home of perfection, but being a houri (who are usually attributed to in sexual terms and often thought of only in that way) is by far not. I take it as an insult. And if they go on about houri’s being “hurt” according to womans conduct on earth, then earthly women are also hurt at the thought of a woman oogling at her husband! No sensitivity to feelings from that end is there?
Shahrzad: The obsession of sex with houri’s takes the stereotypical view of Muslims being sex crazed that one step further. Its sad to see our faith being reduced to nothing but being obsessed with sex and appetising those sex needs (e.g. as commonly used “excuse” for polygyny, concubinage etc)
Comment by Sumera — July 20, 2008 #
Based on the hadeeth i mentioned, what prophet means of Hour El Ain and their being interior to muslim women, completely shows that the concept is not sexual. Bcs he talks about praying and closeness to Allah.
But the term of Hour is “assumed” sexual by most muslim men. Like those who commit suicide in the hope of 70 virgins etc. I take it as a lack of religious education. So sad really, but true. Paradise for some muslim men is assumed a brothel!!
Comment by Shahrzad — July 20, 2008 #
inferior*
Comment by Shahrzad — July 20, 2008 #
Are houris just brainless bimbos and sex toys? Or they are made out to be that by successive eras of hadith collectors?
Comment by Mezba — July 21, 2008 #
Much of authentic Islamic scripture be it Quran or Hadith is richly metaphorical. It is also peculiarly targeted towards nomadic Arabs. I mean I neither like dates nor olives, but the nomadic Arabs did and so scripture is rich in references to food that was relished in ancient Arabia.
In the same manner history now tells us that many Arabian women were headstrong and very dominating. There were several matriarchal tribes. Islam set to change that by focusing on the need for patriarchy. The men desired women who were submissive and compliant and houris are made to be just that. They don’t pass body fluids, are always smiling, compliant, submissive, devoid of rancor and ill thoughts, and kind. It must be a huge incentive for men to do good and remain Muslim.
I believe that if it was women who ran the workings of a family; if it was women who decided that Islam remained in their homes, they would have been allowed to marry non-Muslim men and would have been openly given sexual incentives. Early scholars erroneously assumed that a woman’s sexual needs were insignificant compared to a man’s and so glorified the female houri adding spicy details to her persona. But God who knows that women are not much different in terms of sexual needs than men does not make lopsided promises.
I actually find all this talk of sex in Islam very insulting. How much do we know about the sex life of Jesus? And in Islam where the private affairs of a couple are supposed to be just that – private we have evidence of what our own Prophet used to do with his wives. Scholars argue that details are given to educate people but there is no need for explicit examples. People would have done what the Prophet commanded; we don’t need to know how things were done.
Once the private is made public there can be no limit on what is being said about women. Making women into brainless sex toys is only natural then.
Comment by Achelois — July 21, 2008 #
Well, that’s all human male’s wet dream isn’t it? The brainless ever available ”Stepford houri”?
Except for the rare few intelligent ones.
I’m not at all worried about this hadith: I am so gorgeous I will wipe the floor with any houri in Jannah, and still annoy my future husband as much as I like…
The early christians hated anything that was fun in any way, especially sex. I think they considered it too much competition for their interpretation of religion, and so Jesus never did sex of course.
Besides, after they decide to promote Jesus as the son of God, and so a God himself, he certainly didn’t do sex.
Even his mother didn’t do sex.
Because sex is evil!
Comment by Aafke — July 21, 2008 #
[...] This is what’s happening on my soulmate’s blog Peculiar Sensitivities [...]
Pingback by “Muslim boys are not sissies” « Achelois — July 21, 2008 #
I think all this is metaphorical as Achelois has put it. The main concept behind everything like Hoors, Jannat, rivers of honey and milk …is about obeying Allah and submitting to what he has told us to do. Using the analogy of ’sex toys/ dolls’ does not seem right to me. Few men and women may have materialistic approach even in this matter and it depends on ones experience and encounters with these people but I think no muslim tries to stay on right path because of hoors or milk or honey but because s/he wants to obey Allah and please HIM. These things will come to the people of paradise as gifts from our LORD.
Comparing men and women of paradise to the ones here is only to make one understand and exaggerate the qualities. None of us has seen these things but have an idea because Allah has described it in a way that our limited mind can understand ( one can say “in layman’s term”).
At the end what matters is if Allah has described and ordained things like that then it is right. It is not about what is said but WHO said it.
Comment by Zios — July 22, 2008 #
My respect for women just grew to an unimaginable level the day my wife…bore my child…and to see her go through so much…which I couldnt ever have…Allah didnt put in that much in a man…
Salute to all women…especially those who are MOTHERS….
Comment by UTP — July 22, 2008 #
Thank you all for your comments.
I agree with you Shahrzad, Aafke and Achelois – although the houri’s in nature may not be sexual they have been sexualised as Mezba nicely summed up, they are always spoken of sexually which is abhorrent. In that sense who would want to be attributed to such a species and take it as a complement?
Zios with the way things are portrayed, anyone would think people do good deeds to attain sexual houri’s rather than the pleasure of Allah who can then gift them with whatever He wishes.
UTP: Men pass out when they have the flu and make it seem like they are dying – so much for pain threshold :p Nice to see you appreciate mothers
Comment by Sumera — July 22, 2008 #
I just wanted to add that I wonder why no one ever objected to such details adding with utmost falvour by the scholars? I know that we must respect scholars but they are not infallible and certainly wrong with such horny details. Why did no one ever object? And these dirty details have become part of books on religion! There nothing like this in the Quran. What imagination!
Comment by Achelois — July 25, 2008 #
Sorry! I have a sleeping baby on one arm and hence am I typing with one hand and making spelling errors:
I just wanted to add that I wonder why no one ever objected to such details added with utmost flavour by the scholars? I know that we must respect scholars but they are not infallible and certainly wrong with such horny details. Why did no one ever object? And these dirty details have become part of books on religion! There is nothing like this in the Quran. What imagination!
Comment by Achelois — July 25, 2008 #
Whoah.
Achelois has a point. =/
Comment by manutdfanatic — August 5, 2008 #
I have just heard a jummah bayan regarding jannah, houris etc. And i was disturbed to hear the Imam referring to Houris again in a sexual way. He said that they are so sweet, that Bollywood actresses are nowhere near in beauty etc. He then ‘joked’ by saying ‘try not to break your fast by thinking about Houris too much’. He was obviously addressing the men in the mosque and we can all work out what he meant, I was shocked to hear him speak like this.
Why is it that men have to be enticed to Jannah with the promise of Houris, is it not enough to want to enter jannah at the pleasure of Allah?
Comment by Queenshen — September 19, 2008 #