Cosmetic Usage is for Wanted Male Attention « Inner Reflections Transcribed

Cosmetic Usage is for Wanted Male Attention

May 15, 2009 at 8:48 pm | In Discursive, Gender Issues, Learning, Life, Media, Men, Women | 23 Comments

There was a recent debate which took place on The Guardian, initiated by a self-confessed and open lesbian about the use of cosmetics. Julie Bindel is of the opinion, from a feminist stance, that no self-respecting woman, who was confident and comfortable in her own skin would employ make up. Cosmetic usage is purely for the attraction of men, in the hope that they may notice you and for you to pass off as a “normal” person.

She has come under fire for her own appearance, but vouches that:

Throughout my feminist career, I have been regularly – and often viciously – criticised for my appearance by misogynists, and yet what they are really reacting to is my refusal to dress up for male approval.

Do you agree with Julie that make up is a medium for dressing up for male approval? Or is it simply about enhancing features and the beauty that you already have been blessed with? Is there a push for females to conform to a the stereotype of a plush, fresh faced, full pouted, glossy haired vixen? Does make up come under the same category as restrictive and harmful items of clothing such as corsets, incredibly high heeled stiletto’s?

Is any kind of dressing up always for male attention and approval?

23 Comments »

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Yes.

And no.

Do I have to explain my answers?

Oh, alright… but I want to be quick.

Yes, because men are visual creatures, that appreciate physical beauty. Women noticed this a long time ago, and have worn makeup and other adornments to look hot towards the opposite sex ever since.

No – from my personal experience, anyway. I spend a lot of time in a house that has only one male resident: my father. Yet I still wear makeup, and even dress up with nice clothes and jewelry from time to time, to make myself feel better. There is no eligible man to show off to, so i guess it’s just so I don’t wince whenever I look at myself in the mirror.

Of course, there could be a link to deeper issues with how I probably judge my own beauty according to society’s standards, and by applying makeup in the absence of a man, I am merely trying to reassure myself that I am capable of looking attractive to the opposite gender, thus avoiding the spiral of self-hate that women are prone to entering – especially when it’s that ‘time of the month’.

The End… for now.

Comment by iMuslim — May 15, 2009 #

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- See iMuslim, the link between adorning oneself and mood is an interesting one. They say shopping is feel-good therapy too. And I suppose the act of shopping isn’t really for the benefit of the man; much to his chagrin its financially depleting!
  
  There are many facets to why time invested in yourself (which is visibly obvious like dressin gup) causes such an effect on mood and mind; is it the reaction from others, the potential changes it could cause in people you come across or that it somehow confirms a doubt one has about themselves relating to attraction? It’s all fascinating.
  
  Comment by Sumera — May 16, 2009 #
  
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Generally yes…personally no. Ive never found interest in using makeup and assessories to enhance whatever Ive got…I am what I am and what you see is what you get sort of girl.

I feel that most women do manage to use makeup etc in a very pretty understated way…while others are way over the top…and embarrasing to look at..but thats just me.

Comment by coolred38 — May 16, 2009 #

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- The OTT make up is often took to be art coolred38 and I have come across some that although seems a bit bizarre, is (I admit( beautiful and evidently a finely honed skill. What you see is what you get is interesting, because often its argued people “hide” behind make up. And I suppose some do. But what are they wanting to hide in the first place I wonder…?
  
  Comment by Sumera — May 16, 2009 #
  
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If Bindel is comfortable looking like she does without make up then good for her!

Many women are not comfortable with the way they look around men and women. In fact, I firmly believe that women wear make up to look better in the company of other women. I have taught boys and girls and I always wore better clothes and make up when I taught girls because they appreciate that and relate better to a teacher who looks good. Boys (and I mean young men) don’t really care. Girls look at faces, boys look at bodies. It doesn’t matter to men whether you wear lipstick or not – most of the time.

Whenever I dress up and wear make-up my boys will appreciate my clothes and my daughter will notice the make up.

This is a trend with today’s feminists, to say no to make up and perfume in their bid to seem natural. I’m difficult like that because I’ll do what I like to do not because I am a feminist and am supposed to act like other feminists. Feminism does not have to mean death of individualism. In a bid to seem empowered, some feminists begin ruling other women, shoving their ideas and judgments upon them. It is not a matter of “male approval” – a woman does NOT have to look like a man to be a feminist and claim equal treatment. In my opinion Bindel does not even have female approval!

Comment by Achelois — May 16, 2009 #

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I never thought so before, but a few girls I know only started wearing make-up after leaving [girls-only] schools – and said there was no point in wearing it before. Personally, I don’t wear make up day to day, but I do wear it for weddings (and a lot more heavily for all girls parties). I think everyone has their own personal reasons – for a lot of women it seems to be a comfort blanket that they feel awful without, and don’t really know who they’re trying to impress.

Comment by mcpagal — May 16, 2009 #

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Make up is a feminine thing to do and feminists of her ilk hate being female. It’s amazing, that to “further” women’s rights, they are trying to be more like men!

Comment by Haleem — May 16, 2009 #

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I do wear minimal make-up for my own personal use/liking. I guess women who would try to do it to *attract* males would most likely not *please* all men.

Comment by sf — May 16, 2009 #

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PS: I forgot to add this, some make-up actually would scare men (and women alike, lol)

Comment by sf — May 16, 2009 #

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- I agree.I’ve one at home completely obsessed with make-up.
  
  Comment by Lat — May 20, 2009 #
  
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I do not choose to NOT wear make up to be a feminist or to be like a man (not that anyone here claimed it of ME)…I just dont wear it because Ive never been interested in makeup. Its all too complicated and time consuming for me…not to mention most of my adult life there wasnt enough money for adequate food and other necessaries most of the time…so makeup wasnt something I ever even thought of. Funny enough my two daughters are all up in makeup…dont know where they get it from…lol.

Comment by coolred38 — May 17, 2009 #

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- I’ve seen one of your girls and she is gorgeous. I’m sure even without make-up.
  It is a very Khaleeji thing, make-up, wouldn’t you say? I never knew women could wear so much make-up to go buy onions. Here you can’t do anything without make-up, I guess. In the UK, I hardly ever put on lipstick and if I don’t here I’ll be looked down upon.
  
  Comment by Achelois — May 17, 2009 #
  
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  - I wore lipbalm when I went out with some pple in dubai. They looked at me as if something was wrong with me, lol.
    
    Comment by sf — May 19, 2009 #
makeup is just by mood i wear.
the list of makeup items for meetings are ‘liner and lip gloss.. sometimes blush!’

Comment by AD — May 17, 2009 #

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Hmmm. I don’t wear makeup and I’ve never been interested in learning how to apply it. My apathy about makeup has nothing to do with wanting to be more “feminist”. My mom used to wear tons of it and wouldn’t leave the house without it.

Comment by Aynur — May 17, 2009 #

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As a makeup artist I constantly field such objections and misconceptions about body adornment. Makeup is simply that– adornment of the body. What makes makeup different than the facial tattoo’ing of Maori males? What makes it different than the piercing of one’s ears? Many of us put at least some thought into the clothing that we wear.. so how is cloth different from cream?

Adorning ourselves makes us feel complete. The way we style our hair (grooming), the fashions we wear, etc, all reflect a specific personna. We physically present ourselves in certain manners because that is how we want to be perceived. If you wear those special black underwear, do you not feel a little sexier? Makeup helps us do the same.

As human beings we are highly visual, and have the capacity for immense creativity. Our bodies can be considered our own canvas, with each work (our get-up for each day), completed art.

I’m under the assumption that this woman is somehow associating makeup with the entertainment industry, and corporate greed. Yes, in the west especially girls look at glossy magazines and try to emulate the photoshopped beauties staring back at them– and we see this causing real problems. Furthermore, this problem is fueled by corporate entities looking to make a few more bucks, and with that currency (fed to them by the very girls they are brainwashing), they continue to warp our standards of beauty. But without this innate human drive to create art (even on ourselves), these corporations wouldn’t be so successful. This woman needs to disassociate the two in order to address the real problem.

We feel better when we look better. When we look better, we have more confidence. Those two combined, people take more notice of us, and respect us more– men and women.

And just a side note to some comments I’ve seen here– feminists aren’t trying to be like men. Feminism has nothing to do with men– and to assume it does only reflects fear on the part of men when they think that their “entitlements as men,” are being infringed upon. Makeup in itself is not innately feminine, it is just another aspect of body adornment that women and men of all cultures and societies take part in. Through gender stereotyping we associate makeup with femininity, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

To be feminine does not mean to be dainty and doll-like, nor does to be masculine mean to be unkempt, dirty, or wild. So let’s not perpetuate this confusion!

Comment by MayaNoor — May 18, 2009 #

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Very interesting write-up. You brought up a lot of poignant points. Coincidentally, I actually wrote a post on beauty and makeup as well. Come by and read it when you have a chance – I’d love to hear your comments.

Comment by Sindhu — May 20, 2009 #

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HI Sumera, interesting topics as usual!

A few observations on this: already touched on by comments above – but what is interesting is that it is clearly – not so straightforward and simple – as ‘one’ reason only. Yes there is an element of (quite a natural one) of wanting to be attractive to the opposite sex sure. And perhaps part of ‘competing’ with other women, for men perhaps, is about that – but i’m not so sure its so simple. Because it’s our ’status’ within the group of women – that is really important – with regards to make-up use. we want to be seen – by our female peers – to be attractive women. Because – for some reason – this is a very important measure for women, a lot of us value our self-worth based on this. i’ve found this gets way way amplified when i’m in bangladesh – here in london, i hardly use make-up apart from a bit of lippy now and again. even at parties i’m not that bothered. the minute i’m home visiting mostly my female rellies, i know i will be under scrutiny! I take foundation along with me then – and that i rarely use normally – why? Because i feel i am ‘arming’ myself.

Also i’ve noticed, most men don’t actually notice if you’ve got any make-up on, unless its really heavy, and then they don’t tend to like it much. Same thing with shoes, nail polish, ear-rings – these things your female friends will notice. Men, they notice you, your eyes, your smile, etc. You don’t need make-up to attract a man, but you might need it to keep bitch women at bay.

That’s a bit sad i feel, but i think its quite an important dynamic. I’d like to be more natural, myself around my female relatives, without them checking out every bit of me as merchandise. I don’t like that really – but i understand where it comes from. Those women are used to being put down if they are not ‘100%’ – so they think that is how they should be too.

Comment by sonia — May 21, 2009 #

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But – I think – it’s important to be true to yourself. If you want to dress up pretty because that’s what you want to do, then go for it. But the important thing is beauty is in the mind..

Comment by sonia — May 21, 2009 #

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I meant bitchy women…sorry, didn’t mean to sound like i was insulting anyone!

The other irony is that we are all more and less trying the same thing ourselves – wanting to fit in, wanting to be admired, wanting to not be the odd one out. if we all put less pressure on ourselves, it would be much easier (i’m thinking women here – the women’s mags have a lot to answer for)

Comment by sonia — May 21, 2009 #

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Just seen Achelois’ comments up above – I hear ya!

What is worth thinking about is its much easier not having to worry about touching up lipstick and all that nonsense – i mean you can’t really enjoy yourself and let go if you are always thinking, is my lip colour straying, is it on? Plus when people are used to seeing you with make-up, and then no make-up it can be a shock. Much better to be au naturelle and then a bit of make-up goes a long way when needed. Less is definitely more. But then..look at our Asian wedding make-up!!

Gosh, I had to fight so many women to do it myself – all that heavy foundation trying to make my brown skin white…what? At that level of making oneself up – there is some real psychological problem i feel – (and nothing to do with attracting men or husbands) but just about not being able to be oneself.

Comment by sonia — May 21, 2009 #

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Now that I think of whenever I wear make up (mostly to dinners and parties outside the home) I am more concerned about the female opinion!

Comment by Ordinary Girl — May 25, 2009 #

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I think it totally depends on the person and the intentions they put make-up on. Islamically speaking, I think Allah loves beauty and everything that beautifies women is encouraged, be it jewelry or make-up but within in a limit, as we are commanded to take the middle way, so I would even here take the middle way. But of course the beautifing does not mean going around and parading yourself and showing all men how beautiful you are. If you preserve pardah and cover your face or keep it simple when you go out, then make up is applied with the intention of pleasing oneself and maybe the family around you. Whereas if it is applied to attract attention, especially male-attention then it is not only wrong but you let men control you and you are playing it all on their terms.

Comment by raniyas — May 27, 2009 #

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