I have realised over the past few years that what I thought was the norm is infact a rarity and I had took it for granted.
I had assumed most women who go about their daily lives working, engaging with people, and are educated to a certain level would by default have interesting topics of conversations and viewpoint.
How sadly mistaken I have been. I have come across numerous women in the past few years, who like nothing better than to talk about food, hair, makeup, waxing, manicures, the latest soaps on TV – steering them towards topics involving politics, or analysis of society beyond the oft repeated phrase “times are bad” is a struggle and a half which brings nothing but disappointment at the other end of the effort.
I wonder why they have no desire to talk about the same engaging and sometimes difficult issues I see many of my articulate and intelligent blogging female friends blog about? I realise there needs to be a balance – always discussing cerebral topics can be dry for some, but I personally find them so inspiring and thought-provoking. Of course I can talk about hair, make-up, food but my mind wanders after 2mins of this and I get bored very very easily. And I don’t enjoy such company in the slightest either – which makes it that much more difficult to tolerate and pretend you give a fish about their recent waxing nightmare at the salon.
Although the saying goes you can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends I wonder when you have slim pickings in the first place can one really be in any position to be so picky?
I have one friend (ONE! And I thank God for her everyday) with whom I can discuss anything and everything – from the waxing to the cooking to world politics and health to parenting to religion. We speak nearly everyday and never tire of talking.
With my other friends, I wonder if they are worried about conflict and so stick to the mundane? Everyone has a different opinion on politics and religion and most of us defend our opinions with gusto. But everyone can agree about (and who knows, maybe relate to) what constitutes a waxing nightmare at a salon.
its nice to have a friend who you actually look forward to talking to Tasmiya.
i think with myself, i personally begin to wonder what do i have in common with acquantances that i may see often as 5mins in, I find their conversations incredibly mundane and i tire of their company so easily. i think i just like to be around ppl that are on the same wavelength as I.
Men can be boring too!
Yah, I’ve had that experience too!
Not everyone wants to engage in thought-provoking conversations, simply because we are too lazy to think, and so we discuss mundane topics such that we don’t really have to really have to think about what we’re saying. Also a lot of people just don’t have the knowledge to have a good discussion, for example you start a conversation about the Palestine conflict, and they just go blank, not knowing what to say, for all they know are snippets that they hear from the national media.
I think every person has a opinion on a topic, perhaps they feel they might come across as being naive or stupid and so would rather talk about things they are comfortable about. That’s fine, but really…as with everything, balance is key. Just like I dont want to talk about the london riots all the time, I also dont want to hear how to curl your hair all the time either. Know what I mean?
Nice to see you are still alive and kicking
Intelligent people are a rarity indeed irrespective of their gender affiliations (:-P) . I love to talk to people who can really think… and feel because sometimes I don’t want to talk.
Nice to see you Zios! Where you been?
Yes, thinking people are a rarity -people who like to give off airs of thinkers but really are snobs are also unlikeable!
In a communications class I was told that women prefer to discuss relationships (not just romantic relationships but friends, family, peers, etc.) while men prefer to discuss ideas.
I didn’t perform any research into this so it’s only hearsay. That said, it does seem to be confirmed by the majority of women I meet.
To each their own but if it’s true then I can’t help but feel disappointed.