Tongue In Cheek
February 17, 2007 at 12:07 am | In Gender Issues, Islam, Men, Satire | 2 CommentsMezba’s speaks out against Islam’s oppression of men. Finally we have a male voice amongst the ranks.
Some examples are:
For example, let’s start with prayers. I have to put on ten layers of clothes, gloves, earmuffs, then go outside in the freezing cold, wipe the snow off the car, drive to the mosque which is 10 km away, pray in congregation, drive back and by the time I am home, it’s almost time for the next prayer. In Islam a man’s best prayer is offered in congregation in the mosque. And what does my (future) wife have to do? All she has to do is put the TV on mute, place the praying mat on the floor, quickly say her prayers and then be back to watching Saas Hi Bahu Ko Maar Dala. And Islam says that’s her best prayers. WTF?
and
We all know women love to shop for clothes. And what does Islam do? Give her an EXCUSE to go shop for clothes.
“Honey, really, it’s for part of my hijab. Seriously. I have to be fully covered, you know. And the Louis Vuitton bag? Well, Islam does not want me to attract men’s attentions with my hidden ornaments, so I have to carry them somewhere, right? Besides, didn’t Allah tell you men the best dinar spent is the dinar you spend on your family?”
Read more on Mezba’s call for reformation!
Incandescent
October 20, 2006 at 12:38 pm | In Media, Personal, Satire | 1 Comment
Incandescent with rage I quite like that phrase. Although being a passive person, with the odd bout of rage or jinn possession moments as I describe it – which usually catches people off guard, almost in disbelief that this weird raging creature is the same mellow, laid back Sumera – I find the animated gestures of anger quite amusing. Arms flaying all over the place, nose crinkled, eyes slanted, face as red as a beetroot…and the all important VTIF – Vein Throbbing In Forehead. Angers not anger without VTIF! Its a heightened version of annoyance, irritation. Not quite the same thing.
I found the following article from the Guardian amusing, and even chuckled at the mention of Mrs Beckhan becoming IWR. I love witty writers. Anything with a hint of sarcasm, satire wins me over.
Angry? No, I’m incandescent
Laura Barton
Friday October 20, 2006
The Guardian
Normal people do not become “incandescent with rage”, those three little words that bubble to the tabloid surface every time a celebrity gets a bit mardy. It would be impossible for a civilian to be IWR, because you would notice them, glowing like white-hot pokers on the bus, or pale-faced and quivering in the supermarket check-out queue. Instead, they get a bit riled, pissed off, or plain old angry. They write letters to the Times, slam doors, cuss and curse, but they never – never ever – grow incandescent. The incandescent thing only happens once you step beyond the velvet rope.
In recent years, numerous public figures have been reported to be “IWR”: Liberal Democrat leader Menzies Campbell, who was cross about being portrayed as plotting against his predecessor in a new biography of Charles Kennedy; MSP Tommy Sheridan, who got his knickers in a twist and sacked his defence counsel in his case against the News of the World. Bob Geldof, returning to Ethiopia 20 years after Live Aid, was described as IWR that such levels of deprivation and poverty prevailed in the country. Never one to miss out on a trend, Victoria Beckham was IWR back in 2003 when her record label decided not to use any of her hip-hop tracks.
In 2002, Germaine Greer described herself as IWR when Nestlé asked her to explain criticisms she made of their sponsorship of the Hay literary festival. Jude Law apparently went “IWR” last year when it was revealed that his lady-friend Sienna Miller had been canoodling with Daniel Craig. Which is interesting, as Sienna also went “IWR” when it was revealed that Jude had cheated on her with his children’s nanny. And so it goes on: Delia Smith, Elton John, Prince Charles, Mel B, John Major, David Blunkett and, this week of course, Paul McCartney.
The etymological history of the word “incandescent” proves revealing: coined in the 18th century, it means to become hot or to glow, and stems from “in-” and “candecere”, which means to grow bright, itself stemming from “candere”, meaning to be white. It makes sense. They are stars, and just as they sparkle when twirling on the red carpet, they glow when enraged. Celebrities, after all, are shinier versions of ourselves, and therefore it is perfectly natural that they should do everything on a far bigger, brighter, grander scale than us mere mortals: they are slimmer, richer and more beautiful – why shouldn’t they get angry better than us too?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,1926832,00.html
Speak when you’re angry, and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.
~Lawrence J Peter
Abu Huraira (RA) narrated That Allah’s Messenger Muhammad (saw) said:
The strong is not the one who over comes the people by his strength. But the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.
Jummah Mubarak Ya Ummah!
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