I had ONE incident of irritation. And that was this morning at 8am. But my brother was the victim, so it doesn’t really count πŸ˜€ (I mean if you’re asleep and someones constantly calling you and trying to have a conversation it’d bug you too wouldn’t it?)

I’ve been waking up at 5am to see my Dad off to work. But this morning there was another problem. The freezer door had been left open. Yep, everything defrosted overnight! I was *sure* I had shut it properly. But anyway, when I left for work this morning it was functioning and back to its frosted state. I’m definitely not going to tell my mother about it, she’d tell me off for sure :-p

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Majority of the time, due to everyone’s bizarre schedules, no-one’s at home til late evening. I usually go home to an empty shell of a house, and begin to attend to the pile of dishes and general cleaning thats been left by me the night before. Have dinner on my own, with the TV for company :-p I could wait til later to have dinner, but since I skip lunch, i’m usually peckish come 7.

Slowly one by one, after 8pm everyone comes home in drips and drabs. But tend to be absorbed in their own wee worlds. TV, PC/Net, Phone etc. I put my hands up to this one. My vice is the PC/Net. Sometimes I despair at how little we talk with one another. Even if its about nothing entirely beneficial, important or sane :-p, I like having a good chin-wag.

Last time we all sat together to eat was on Eid. Even then some jokes were took the wrong way and ruined the mood. I sat there…as an observer. I love observing. I could be plonked into a room full of people and not have a single conversation with any. Most often in group scenarios I’m the one who sits and watches…listens..observes.

Usually when I see how the family interacts, dynamics etc, all I see are the gaps, problems…and I make a mental note of *not* doing the same with the family I Insh’Allah may have in the future. Maybe I should conc on addressing these gaps, and I have done so when I can…but there’s little else you can do/say to change habits. Habits are hard to break. I know, I’ve tried to break a few – major one being laaazyy.

On a more positive note, we do communicate. We may not all sit together and have group discussions, but we’re a tight knit family. That feeling of security is re-assuring in a world that is so destabilised.

Because Im a quiet person (yes its true ! :D), and introspective, I find my mind is always engrossed in thinking about people, situations, the future, myself, my parents, brothers, Allah (swt). I dont remember what it was like to *not* think about things. Its been that long! Thats why im exhausted more so mentally than physically when I retire to bed.

Im going to try and change that. Balance the exhaustion! Wear myself out both ways. After all, something has to replace the rattyness doesn’t it? What better than exercise ~flex muscle~

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