I don’t like passing judgement on other people, especially if I don’t know them. Its an easy thing to do though. Walking down the street, see a chap with a mohawk hair cut, you automatically begin to conjure up aspects of him, his personality, traits, political opinion, maybe even where he lives and/or his profession.

See a niqaabi and you think “why? don’t need to wear that”..then a slw admiration creeps in and I find myself saying “must be hard wearing that in this current political climate. But Mash’Allah, May Allah (swt) keep you firm in Imaan”

Maybe people pass judgement on me. I know for one I appear moody. I rarely bounce down the street with a grin on my face.

However, the judgement I wish to speak about isn’t one of a physical nature. Its judgment of character. I personally think this type of judgment to surpass and be more detrimental than the former. Your character is, in essence, all that which contributes to being “you”. Your morals, values, traits. These are much more dear to most people than what you may appear to others physically.

Therefore, those who pass comment on your character as being “irresponsible”, “morally inept” “superior” and the other negative ones (Im getting writes block again ~sigh) are the one’s who really vex me. Especially when they feel the need to point out character flaws in you, based on hearsay ~rolleyes~

I dont mind receiving naseeha. Insh’Allah if done properly it can aid in improving yourself. Maybe i’m slightly sensitive but I prefer any naseeha given to me, to be done in private, as opposed to infront of others. Maybe its because I feel the public method of naseeha to be undermining me, displaying what they deem to be faults in my character to others. I really don’t like it.

Its akin to telling your child off for something they’ve done infront of their friends/peers. Its embarrassing. I also fall into the trap of becoming angry with the person and NOT taking on their advice if I am given this “naseeha” infront of others. I silently seethe and dislike it (even if their advice is sound), replay the “advice”, which at the time seemed sincere, but in my mind it usually echo’s with a mocking tone to it. Mocking. Thoughts race ahead, and suddenly bad things enter my mind about that person. Their past mistakes, “where was your gleaming halo then eh?” using this incident as a way to puff up their ego, to show others how “wonderful” they are, how “knowledgable”, and “mature”.

I know its wrong to think like that, but what can I say, its what forms in my mind following the bruising of MY ego, my feelings. Then again, if you’re the recipient of advice your feelings aren’t considered. Uproar at advice given is an expected reaction…because you see, since you have character flaws you can’t possibly be expected to reason, cogitate and accept advice without passing comment on it. That’s another “problem” you have.

Surely there are naseeha etiquettes. Also how do you tell someone although you value their advice, you don’t necessarily value their method of doing it? I’ve even fallen out with people over their insistence of “advising” me (more like a telling off) infront of my peers. (but made up later of course πŸ˜€ )

I for one don’t tell anyone off. Why should I? I’m not their mother! Naseeha, yes. In public, no.