Despite there being many articles on the WWW encouraging marriage, finding yourself a good spouse and having children, there seems to be a negative attitude towards remaining single.

Much of this attitude stems from the “evils” present in society that can “entice” bachelors/bachelorette’s in engaging in immoral activities – particularly casual sex.

And we’re all familar with Islam’s perception of marriage – with the oft recited verses being:

2:187 …They are your garments and ye are their garments

25:54
It is He who has created humans from water: then has He established relationships of lineage and marriage: for thy Lord has power (over all things).

30:21 And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.

However, increasingly with women being able to financially support themselves – through an established career, the appeal of marriage has become diluted. Particularly for those who are expected to live with their in-laws as part of an extended family; such expectations are alien and themselves carry additional pressure alongside the responsibilities and tasks that are directly applicable to her marriage towards her husband and his towards her.

Culturally, males do not become lumbered with the expectation of having to live with in-laws or to serve them; he has fewer expectations on him from his inlaws aside from the obvious of treating their daughter well and keeping her happy. From a South East Asian perspective, the women is seen to be an “ideal example” of a brilliant wife and daughter-in-law if she serves and cares for her inlaws (MIL and FIL) as well as her husband, when there is no onus upon her to care or serve for the former from a religious POV.

Often males will spout that they cannot move out of their parental home because their parents need them, and they cannot not fulfill their obligations towards them. Many of these obligations pre-marriage and post-marriage are meant to remain static, however one often finds pre-marriage there is not much “caring” or “serving” occurring; very few contribute financially towards the home, their parents go about their business themselves and rarely see their children aside from when its time to have dinner.

Post-marriage these “obligations” tend to be thrusted upon the wife – she is expected to care for them in their old age, cook for them, wash their clothes and so on and so forth. All of these fall under the son’s obligation, but of course when you have a maid to do all this for you, whats the need to do it yourself?

Is marriage more appealing to men? Or are women simply enamoured with the idyllic notion of having a soulmate, a partner so comply with what is asked/expected of them?

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