…at least children are told they should be seen but not heard. Women it turns out should completely render their existence obsolete. As quietly as possible please, phase yourselves out, as not to disturb the sentiments of the menfolk who lose all sense at the sheer sight of our bony hands and round faces as per hijaab rules. Or eyes if you are privy to niqaab.

It irks me to find time and time again certain attitudes from Muslim women regarding how the Muslim sisterhood should behave, what characteristics they should have and ultimately what their role in the grand scheme of life should be. Please let me explain in more detail:

  • Women should try their utmost to not be appealing to men. This includes wearing “colours which do not attract attention” in other words black, to fit the appearance of a crow as per this hadith:

Abu Dawood (4101) narrated that Umm Salamah said: “When the words ‘and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms)’ [al-Noor 24:31 – interpretation of the meaning] were revealed, the women of the Ansaar went out looking as if there were crows on their heads because of their garments.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.(Source)

  • They should not “invoke desires in men” by means of their garb, and their scent – so perfumes are out and BO is in:

‘Unadorned’ means not wearing perfume… they are commanded to go out like this and are forbidden to wear perfume lest they provoke men’s desires with their perfume. That also includes other things which are forbidden because they provoke desire, such as beautiful clothing and visible and expensive adornment. (Source)

  • Women should not make any noise whilst out in pubic, so tinkling jewellery, clicking shoes, jingling keys – all avenues to Hell.
  • She should not raise her voice, if possible she should not speak at all since a man may become aroused on hearing such a sweet murmur. Is a woman’s voice awrah or not? After all Aisha (ra) spoke to the men who came and visited her (from behind a curtain) with a finger in her mouth to distort her voice. But we are not subject to the same rulings as the Prophets (saw) wives were. Emulating them  in character is one thing, but to effectively live life as they did along with the limitations and special injunctions they had is not a requirement nor a necessity for Muslim women.  Having the opinion that a woman’s voice is awrah effectively makes her become mute, as all of her is awrah. But, on the flip side, it is said of course she can talk, but to do so firmly – no pleasantries; just in, command, purchase/enquire and out. So a “thank you” and a “have a good day” have no place in this fitnatastic world.

Something strange (which I found strange anyway) I wish to share with you all. A few weeks ago, I attended what can only be described as a small mendhi/henna function for the neighbours son. It didn’t even feel like a mendhi, I didnt think they’d have one what with being of a certain religious persuasion and so not of the singing kind (women singing out loud in the house? The shame of it all!) but anyway that’s a different topic altogether. What I want to bring to your attention is this:

We were sitting there, munching away as you do. And the doorbell goes, someone goes to answer it as is the norm. This girl  (who is related to the chap somehow or other) runs into the room having answered the door exclaiming “Its a MAN” ~shock horror~ A man? A member of that species? Oh dear God. I had about to hide my expression behind my plate as to not give away the look which was forming on my face. It was a cross between “how pathetic” and “oh for God sake, what stupidity, are all women down in this part of the UK inherently man-a-phobic?” I have come across this “Its a man” phenomenon usually amongst women who wear hijab (strictly) whenever there is an impending threat of a man about to enter the room or simply waft across anywhere near where the women may be. “Its a man” usually indicates to take cover under your hijabs should you have decided to remove them in the first place.

If its not man-a-phobia then it is giving preferential treatment to the men:

  1. The men will eat first, the women later even if there is ample room for them all to sit together to eat. Months ago, during my newly wedded days, I was asked by an extended family member if this type of gatherinbg was the same in my family I replied “no, we – the men and women- sit together and eat” – the response to that? “Oh we can eat how much we want this way, stuff ourselves silly w/o the men watching! hahahahah” – I think there was meant to be humour in there somewhere….
  2. The men will get the roomiest of places to sit in even if they amount to a grand total of 5 people and the women nearing 20, including the children who harbour the kitchen or a small room off the kitchen.
  3. The men when together expect their women to not be seen nor heard. God forbid other men catch on there are women in the house. The women are just there to churn out the tea and biscuits. And cook of course. Their existence amounts to little else but to serve men as he is their gateway to Hell and Heaven.
  4. Women don’t have an opinion on anything. Even if they do, don’t voice it – it’s not very womanly to debate and go against the decision of the man

Children get the better end of the deal than women do it seems.