Mona’s Why Do They Hate Us rebuttals

 

Mona’s recent article “Why Do They Hate Us” in Foreign Policy (complete with a picture of a nude woman painted in black paint representing niqab. Nice way of tackling already over riped stereotypes of Muslim women) has caused much furore and debate.

One of the major issues I have with the article is the often used argument of the Muslim women needing to be rescued by Western powers because they are just, upholders of law and virtue and generally more concerned with human welfare. Campaigns which encouraged and eventually led to to the Arab spring were effective because they were internally driven, not brought in guns blazing by the US or UK (who provided reluctant cheering as they most probably have their own agenda’s to toppling the despots – they remain silent where they have no vested interests e.g. Bahrain) and the same principles can apply to changing discriminatory laws. It’s this which should be emphasised, not pandering to the Western sentiments, already exhausted Orientalist notions and stereotypes of Arab women. Lauding a them vs us dichotomy can never be any good, regardless of the reasons behind it.

Much of the misogyny in the Arab world is also seen across other nations, such as South Asia – women from Muslim, Sikh, Hindu and other faith groups experience much of the same in terms of treatment and attitudes. This points to a patriarchial stronghold which prevent progressive laws – and its these patriarchial hierarchies within the various fields of law, health, social welfare and others which need to be eradicated. If the Arab people came together to topple their despot leaders, they can also work together to change the lives of their people for the better.

Sadly all Mona did in her article was flog a dead horse.

Interesting rebuttals to her article can be found here, here and here

Strictly Soulmates: The Muslim episode BBC 3

The BBC have began a series following young people from different religious backgrounds in the search for a marriage partner. Last nights “Strictly Soulmates” episode followed 3 young Muslim guys and girls. My favourite were Dimpy, a 31 year old doctor by profession and Zubair a 23-odd year old who wanted to migrate back to Lahore, Pakistan and live life there doing charity work.

Zubair was a likeable chap – a bit goofy, but in an endearing way, confident and had some definite plans he wanted to follow through on. One was to migrate back to Pakistan where he spent his teenage years to start up a charity and he wanted his wife to aid him in this charity work. It was his desire to move away which detracted from his appeal, because other than that he seemed like a decent guy.

Dimpy seemed to be unsure of what she wanted – he must be a doctor was her only criteria. But in her search, rather than appeasing her preferences she was at cross-roads with the thoughts of what her father (who had passed away) would have wanted her to do. And she held onto that so strongly that when the realisation of its futility hit her, it hit her hard.

The programme provided insight into how Pakistani arranged marriages take place.  Anyone from Pakistani or Indian backgrounds will know even in these marriage processes there are many steps involved, all of which have their own politics and unwritten but understood rules to comply with. It touched briefly upon the options Muslims have when it comes to finding a suitable partner for marriage within the rules and norms of their cultural and religious expectations and norms.

One could argue the programme was more about how Pakistani’s do the marriage game – from the “auntie” matchmaker, to samosa parties at home with the prospective grooms mother rather than how Muslims in general do it (I wont go into Islamically how people argue it is “meant” to be done, as thats a whole other blog post in itself) having a variety of Muslim backgrounds would have made it much more interesting although the manner in which spouses are found in most Muslim cultures wouldn’t differ much.

It seemed like all 3 of them ha a long way to go before finding their Mr/Mrs Right. Wish them all the best in their search.

One Day

Waxing a child…

I recently came across someone at a iftaar party (which are all the rage these days – who would’ve thought breaking your fast would become a fad in itself). I’ve spoken to this person numerous times before, and shared pleasantries, made some chit chat. This time something interesting cropped up.

During our conversation she mentioned that her 7 year old daughter doesn’t like the hair on her arms or legs. She said her daughter feels self-conscious at school, and around her friends and so she helps her daughter to feel better. How does she do this I bet you are wondering? Does she tell her she is beautiful as she is? That she isn’t hairy in the slightest?

No, she waxes her daughters arms and legs for her. Waxing. A 7year old girl. And now her daughter likes her limbs like that as she has accepted that she is hairy and so needs it.

I was shocked. What kind of a mother seriously thinks it is normal and acceptable to have her 7 year old daughters arms and legs waxed because she (and the daughter) think she is hairy? What 7 year old doesn’t have hair on their arms and legs?

What the hell….!

Monobrow / Unibrow

I’ve always thought women with a monobrow/unibrow (when the eyebrows join in the middle) seem as though they are angry or about to fly off the handle. I wouldn’t say they seem menacing, although men with a monobrow do.

In some cultures having one eyebrow (especially women) is seen as a desirable feature – though if you are a desi woman, you are very quickly introduced to the world of threading to get rid of it!

I have naturally thin and arched eyebrows so have never had to deal with taming them, but what do you think of monobrows – do you like them or not?