Seven years ago when I was here, all I saw were the dirt strewn, littered streets. I saw girls getting married at a sadly young age; I saw how women were limited to indoor activities. I saw families with more children than they could afford to raise. Most troubling of all, I saw a severe lack of education. Words like ambition and individualism were foreign concepts here. It seemed like the people here were unaware of man’s progress and achievements. Clearly, they were not living in the 21st century.
I realise now, that it was my perspective that was wrong. I looked at everything with a pre-conceived bias, with detest. I only saw what was on the surface. I saw what I had already decided I would see. Today, it is those same things that harbour my curiosity and encourage me to go back and understand; to take a look at the same scene with a new perspective; to be the harbinger of positive change.
Today is my first day in the village. We arrived here from Islamabad last night, that’s where we land and spend a couple of days before heading to Bebe’s house in the village. I saw the little girl who comes to help out at the house with chores and errands twice a week. She is older than she looks. My aunt told me she’s an 11-year-old, and has 12 siblings. She walks all the way from the neighbouring village to ours early morning, and helps out in several houses in this neighbourhood to earn some money in order to put food on the table for her ridiculously large family. Her father has another family and does not contribute much. Her mother and her siblings work in other houses in villages nearby.
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The BBC have began a series following young people from different religious backgrounds in the search for a marriage partner. Last nights “Strictly Soulmates” episode followed 3 young Muslim guys and girls. My favourite were Dimpy, a 31 year old doctor by profession and Zubair a 23-odd year old who wanted to migrate back to Lahore, Pakistan and live life there doing charity work.
Zubair was a likeable chap – a bit goofy, but in an endearing way, confident and had some definite plans he wanted to follow through on. One was to migrate back to Pakistan where he spent his teenage years to start up a charity and he wanted his wife to aid him in this charity work. It was his desire to move away which detracted from his appeal, because other than that he seemed like a decent guy.
Dimpy seemed to be unsure of what she wanted – he must be a doctor was her only criteria. But in her search, rather than appeasing her preferences she was at cross-roads with the thoughts of what her father (who had passed away) would have wanted her to do. And she held onto that so strongly that when the realisation of its futility hit her, it hit her hard.
The programme provided insight into how Pakistani arranged marriages take place. Anyone from Pakistani or Indian backgrounds will know even in these marriage processes there are many steps involved, all of which have their own politics and unwritten but understood rules to comply with. It touched briefly upon the options Muslims have when it comes to finding a suitable partner for marriage within the rules and norms of their cultural and religious expectations and norms.
One could argue the programme was more about how Pakistani’s do the marriage game – from the “auntie” matchmaker, to samosa parties at home with the prospective grooms mother rather than how Muslims in general do it (I wont go into Islamically how people argue it is “meant” to be done, as thats a whole other blog post in itself) having a variety of Muslim backgrounds would have made it much more interesting although the manner in which spouses are found in most Muslim cultures wouldn’t differ much.
It seemed like all 3 of them ha a long way to go before finding their Mr/Mrs Right. Wish them all the best in their search.
I applaud this woman for taking the initiative in securing not only a job for herself, but also doing so successfully in the face of all of the obstacles she may have faced (as a Pashtun widow in Pakistan).
Zahida Kazmi has been hailed as Pakistan’s first female taxi driver. She has driven from the crowded markets of Islamabad to the remote tribal country in the north. Here she tells Nosheen Abbas about her two decades in a male-dominated world.
In 1992 at the age of 33, newly widowed Zahida Kazmi decided to take her fate in her own hands and become a taxi driver.
Born into a conservative and patriarchal Pakistani family, she flew in the face of her family’s wishes but with six children to support, she felt she had no choice.
She took advantage of a government scheme in which anybody could buy a brand new taxi in affordable instalments. She bought herself a yellow cab and drove to Islamabad airport every morning to pick up passengers.
In a perilous and unpredictable world, Zahida at first kept a gun in the car for her own protection and she even started off by driving her passengers around wearing a burqa, a garment that covers the entire body.
Her initial fears soon dissipated.
“I realised that I would scare passengers away,” she said. “So then I only wore a hijab [head covering]. Eventually I stopped covering my head because I got older and was well-established by then.”
Exposing herself to the hot, bustling city streets of Islamabad and by driving to the rocky and remote districts adjoining Pakistan’s tribal areas, Zahida says she learned a lot about the country she lived in and its people.
Rest the rest of the article here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-south-asia-12680075
On a hot and lazy summers day (Sunday) I met some lovely ladies and spent the day reclining under a tree in the park ~cue desi horror at under tree = jinn possession correlation~
I met the lovelyblogger ladies Organica, iMuslim and SafiyaOutlines and Organica’s fab pal Sarah on Sunday. We ate, talked, ate some more and then when we had enough eating we sat in the shade and…..talked some more.
It’s good to talk! Organica did try to tempt me to come to Philly….but I hope she moves to Canada before I plan that trip. I HAVE to know if it’s as good as she makes it out to be…..
This extends to all those who are your nearest and dearest: